Identify Your Root Sin And Be On Part To Freedom

I was in a meeting with my spiritual director.

“My root sin is sensuality,” I said matter-of-factly.

My spiritual director raised an eyebrow. “I’d say it is pride.”

In retrospect, my response was classic, and I am surprised he didn’t laugh out loud. I said, “No, it’s not. It is sensuality.”

He gave me a knowing smile and dropped the subject.

A few years later, I was working late at the National Catholic Register with Fr. John Bartunek. The topic of root sin had surfaced once again, and thinking of my valiant ongoing efforts to accept painful physical ailments and limitations, I declared to him that mine was sensuality.

His reaction was instantaneous and palpable. “No, it is not.”

I stopped in my tracks.

This time, something in me was open.

I pressed Father to tell me what he saw as my dominant defect, as it is often called. “I trust you,” I told him.

Clearly uncomfortable, but motivated by charity and friendship, he looked at me.  “It is pride,” he said with certainty.

I was devastated.
It turns out he was right—they both were.

Now I can see what they saw, what I couldn’t see in myself at the time.  My understanding of pride was not quite on the mark.  Once I realized that some of my greatest strengths had shadow sides, that pride lurked behind my drive to accomplish even good and holy goals, I was able to finally recognize what my spiritual fathers could see clearly.

And when I did, my spiritual life grew exponentially. I could receive the healing and the grace God had long desired to give me, and the deep work of transformation in Jesus could continue with fewer spiritual blinders or stumbling blocks.

It was humbling but also liberating to know the truth. “Know Thyself, and thy faults, and thus live,” said St. Augustine.  Not so that we can shrug our shoulders and say, “That’s just how I am” but so that we can dig into the roots of our shortcomings and the source of our sins and allow God to do the deep work in the recesses of our souls.